“Eye won’t stop twitching and I’m missing a part of my ear… Just a typical Tuesday.”

“Snow.”

“No, I don’t have a cold. I look like this all the time, thanks for asking.”

“Netflix and ‘Damn boy, you better watch that hand! You gotta buy me dinner first!’ “

“No time for a relationship when you’re married to the streets.”

“Went to a haunted house and basically punched the guy chasing me with a chainsaw sooooo.”

“*Wants to relax* Math: Nah, bruh.”

“The civil war was a conspiracy covered up by George H. W. Bush.”

“In case you were wondering, the cookies were $.75. #PSAT”