I’m ok (now)

Mari Delgadillo, Staff Writer

I can put on a show during the day, at school, at the store, even around friends and family, but in reality, I’m broken, and I know I’m not alone. 

You can make things seem okay and like you’re happy, and living your life, but as soon as you get home, and you’re alone, you feel down, lonely, like you have this hole inside and you have no idea how to get rid of it. You choose not to make a big deal of it and keep it to yourself and not let anyone know. You’d rather it be that way then to risk telling them because you know there’s nothing that they can do to make that pain go away. Instead, you just sit there by yourself and deal with it on your own. You still hide it from everyone you know, especially your loved ones so they don’t see you hurting, because you know that if you’re hurting, they’re hurting too, and you’d rather be miserable and downhearted and suffer through all that pain alone than see the people you love in discomfort because of you. 

Even if the little things, like someone smiling at you, giving you a compliment, even something as simple as holding the door open for you, make you happy, it’s all temporary, and at the end of the day you’re still unsettled. It’s not like you’re purposely trying to feel that way or doing it because you want attention, you just can’t help that that’s the way you feel. 

One day though, you’ll realize that you’re tired of being like that, tired of being so saddened and broken-hearted, so you try any and everything in your power to get rid of whatever is making you feel so gloomy and discouraged inside. Whether it is finally finding the courage to stand up and talk about the way you feel or finding a way to not carry it all  by yourself anymore, you’ll soon notice that something you did finally worked, because you woke up one day untroubled and happy, and in that moment you realized that all that pain you had, all those things distracting you and keeping you from a fulfilled and carefree life, have finally disappeared and allowed you to be that happy person that you used to be. 

I did it, and I know you can too, all you have to do is speak up, because someone is always willing to listen.