The Northern Light

The Earth is dying, but first, one more tweet

Anai Freeman, Editor in Chief

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The last of the ice caps have melted and the ozone layer has completely vanished, but Instagram added a new update where it sets a timer on when new fresh air is needed, so we’ve got better things to do than contemplate something as frivolous as our deteriorating environment.

As the summers get colder and the winters get hotter, the weathermen continue to describe the events as “temporary” and that citizens can expect everything to “return to normalcy” in the following weeks. Meanwhile, the founder of Twitter has now stated that for one million retweets, they will plant exactly four shrubs in hopes to decrease the rapid “warming.”  Unfortunately, the request fell short. Only sixty thousand were acquired, leaving “tweeters” curious as to what was to become of their lives and homes if the warming continues, and many soon started to question if the warming was even real.

One Twitter user, whose account has now been removed, reaped havoc amongst others due to a thread hashing out a conspiracy theory regarding the constant warming, stating that, “it was all just a hoax, the president conspired with the Russians to get us to start planting more trees because Trump and Putin’s favorite book is the Lorax.” Embedded were pictures as well as solid evidence incriminating the two, so Twitter’s removal of this truth-crusader is surely evidence of an even larger conspiracy.

Increasingly fed up with not knowing what to believe, many started a Twitter riot with the hashtag #globalwarmingissoboring, which was tweeted by famous celebrities, including the Kardashians. A State of Address will be held tonight at 5:10pm discussing the accusations and revealing the truth behind the warming as well as how far they are willing to go for their love for children’s literature, so stay tuned.

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The Earth is dying, but first, one more tweet