Eyebrows, why brows?

A disturbing new fashion trend


Zach Tenney, Staff writer


More and more, I’ve been hearing about a new trend: eyebrow fashion. Specifically, people have begun using the phrase “eyebrows on fleek” to say that one’s eyebrows are looking particularly well-groomed on a given day. This is too much for me.

I have always considered it ridiculous that people have obsessions with the latest hairstyles and clothing lines; to have a similar level of concern for a feature such as eyebrows is just over the top. Also, I have a sneaking, frightening suspicion that it will not stop here. By the end of 2016, I am fully expecting an entire edition of Vanity Fair devoted to earlobe fashion and tips on how to knock the public off its  feet with an absolutely mind-blowing scalp.

Seriously, I think this is a real problem. The rise of the eyebrows trend tells me that the media is slowly coercing people into devoting their valuable time and effort to looking like the flawless models seen on television or on magazine covers. This situation has been an issue for a long time, of course, but now it seems to be targeting more and more small details, like eyebrows. I just don’t get it. When I look at person, eyebrows are the last feature I notice. I can think of only one exception to this, and that’s if the person had a unibrow that looked like Karl Marx’s mustache.

Apart from that highly unlikely scenario, I consider eyebrows a very insignificant part of a person’s appearance. The rest of the world should as well. If we’re going to focus on anyone’s physical features, that focus belongs on their smile. I am more impressed and more appreciative of a genuine smile than I am of any eyebrow style. Our culture has developed a serious problem: we are making eyebrow contact when we should be making eye contact. That’s a sad fact, and I think it’s time to face it.