“If you want to know who my #wcw is look at your mirror!!

(I’m assuming you all have picture(s) of me taped to your mirrors.) ”

“Why is organizing school supplies such a thrill?”

“ *pops popcorn and refreshes twitter* ”

”Dying my hair purple again to remind everyone that yep, I’m STILL the family disappointment.”

“There’s a 104 days of summer vacation and yo mom comes along just to end it.”

“First day of sweats on the third week of school? Impressed I’ve made it so far.”

“My boyfriend is chasing our dog around with an air compressor.”

“If the new snapchat update worked on my dog’s face I’d have a lot more fun with it.”

“Would you jaywalk for $20,000?”

“Already at the ‘I’ll just wing it’ stage and that’s a little frightening.”