After watching the reality TV show, “The Kardashians,” I never thought I’d see another television show so cringy, fake, and out of touch. Yet, Kim Kardashian continues to prove me wrong. All’s Fair’s reviews cause viewers to race to Hulu…to see what could possibly be so horrible that it has 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Well, I risked it for everyone, and I’ll let you know this: the critics were not wrong in labeling it the worst tv show of the year, maybe of all time.
The show’s premise follows three lawyers Allura Grant (Kim Kardashian), Emerald Greene (Niecy Nash), and Liberty Robinson (Noami Watts) who leave a male dominated law firm to start their own. This new law firm’s goal is to be completely run by women and only for women, which would’ve been an accurate statement if they added a “super rich” in front of it. In the pilot, we spend two entire minutes viewing Allura’s house with over 20 employees ranging from butlers to private chefs, a closet that is the size of an average home, and of course her just driving around in her Bentley. The only good part of that scene was that they played Janet Jackson’s “Someone to Call My Lover” while viewers were called poor in every comparison. It’s bad enough that we had to sit through that but then we have to watch Kim K’s husband, Chase Munroe (Matthew Noszka), say “Come to Daddy” and then they make out for an additional minute or two. Not a great first five minutes to a show. Not only do the main lawyers seem out of touch, but so do the several divorce cases they take on. The first case in the show they take on Sheila Baskin’s case who calls the lawyer team declaring she is “not in any way safe” because her husband won’t let her keep the 40 million dollars in jewelry he gave her. After demanding he gives her the jewels the husband then responds with, “AHHHHH you should’ve just taken a knife,” dramatic pause “and stabbed me in the heart.” Who speaks like this? While it might be reasonable if there’s one case that is incredibly out of touch, every single case they take on is like this. It’s offensive for someone to declare they are unsafe because they won’t get their 40 million dollars in jewels when there are people stuck in marriages that are genuinely unsafe. However, there is no surprise that this show would contain this type of out of touch plot as its executive producers are no other than Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian herself.
Even though this show is a proclaimed feminist anthem, the main storyline includes the three main lawyers setting out to destroy their nemesis Carrington Lane played by Sarah Poulson who they left at their sexist firm. This is the exact behavior that shouldn’t be displayed in a feminist movie because we shouldn’t be encouraging women using their power to put other women down. If Allura, Emerald, and Liberty were genuinely set out to get revenge on all of the misogynistic men then they should be fighting said misogynistic men, not a woman they declined when she asked to leave the firm with them. Personally I laughed, for the first and only time, when Carrington sent the three a fruit basket saying, “I present you with a fruit basket; organic and lightly brushed with salmonella and fecal matter. Eat a melon ball, and then maybe you can all give the Ozempic you’re mainlining a rest, you fat, treacherous lawn chairs.”
Another failed aspect to this horrible show was that the other experienced actors had to over-exaggerate every line to make up for Kim Kardashian’s monotone delivery. Especially Poulson who absolutely shrieks and screams every line until she’s red in the face. This just further adds to the stereotypical characterization. For example, Liberty Ronson cracks corny jokes to lighten the mood, Emerald Greene is the side character who we only see to hype up the main character with sassy Millennial humor, our antagonist Carrington Lane looks desperate and obsessed with the “good guys,” and our protagonist Allura Greene, who reflects Kim Kardashian in real life, an intelligent woman who downplays it because she wears such revealing and unprofessional clothing that people fail to take her seriously. Regardless of your opinions on the matter, everyone can agree that there is a dress code when it comes to the corporate world. None of Allura’s outfits in the pilot which include a suit with nothing on underneath it paired with a skirt that covers nothing, a leather jacket with a lace see through dress, and a red crocodile jacket (again with nothing underneath) paired with gelled back hair and tiny red sunglasses follow this dress code.
“All’s Fair” may have ruined lawyer shows for me forever. Not only is it out of touch, unrelatable, and frankly boring but also is offensive to all other feminist pieces. 0/5 stars for me.