It’s a tale as old as time. Girl meets boy, girl waits approximately three months for a boy to ask her out, he never does, and she gives up and moves on. Yeah, this actually happens. Not that I am guilty of it or anything (laughs nervously). Maybe it’s just cliche high school movies that have brainwashed us to believe that the boy has to ask out a girl, and if the girl asks the guy out, she is being annoying. Nobody can win.

“A lot of the time, guys are afraid or nervous to make the first move as well, as it’s putting yourself out there in a way that is emotionally revealing,” Elliot Hoinville (11) says. “However, for girls, I can understand that it is harder as it’s traditionally an action done by men, so there is less incentive to take action rather than wait to see if the guy will make the first move.” And here, ladies and gentleman, is the problem at its core. Whether you’re male or female, it can make anyone feel uneasy to purposefully make yourself vulnerable. “It’s super intimidating to put yourself out there, even if you know that other person might be interested,” says Grace Peguese (12) But the scariest part? The thought of rejection. If we take a step back and look at the bigger picture, I would just like to point out that the absolute worst thing that can happen is that they will say no. That is the worst thing. We’re not in middle school, if they say no, they may tell a few of their friends about it, but they aren’t going to broadcast it to every single person they know to prove that they are uninterested. But, you know, they might also say yes. Just saying. “Lots of girls also may be afraid of the answer because they’ve always been on the other side of asking someone out,” Audrey Everett (11) explains. “Afraid of rejection, pretty much.” Let me say it again, for the people in the back: The worst that can happen when you ask someone out, is they will say no. It is not going to haunt you the rest of your life. You will survive. “There’s also the dreaded friend zone,” adds Hoinville. But, truly what is so bad about it? If you were able to stand up for your feelings and own up to them, putting yourself in a vulnerable position, that’s a win in my book. This person is obviously special to you, so I’m going to guess you care about them and want them in your life regardless.
As a matter of fact, a great number of guys, even if they don’t feel the same way, find it really admirable that the girl was so bold to begin with. “I have been the first to initiate hanging out or getting coffee and I’ve found out that even if they may not have liked me like that, they were nice and went with me anyways, and we still had a good time as friends.” Everett recalls. Sorry, but if that guy that you asked out was super rude about it, he’s not worth your time anyways, homegirl.
“I think girls asking guys out to an individual event or date is fine to break the ice, but it shouldn’t be happening repeatedly. If a girl finds herself asking the guy out over and over again, he probably isn’t fulfilling his role as ‘the guy,’” Spencer Brown (12) says. So here we come to another aspect of the debate. What does it mean to be “The Guy?” Let’s break it down. “It’s the so-called norm for guys to make the first move, so it has become weird for some girls to make the move,” Grant Ernst (11) shares. So being the guy truly means taking the reigns? Why is it so weird for a girl to step in and give it a shot? Simply put: That is the way it has always been. That doesn’t mean it’s the way it has to be, though. “It’s 2016, girls can totally ask out guys. But I still think guys should be confident and ask a girl out if he likes her,” Ernst followed up. There it is. In short: we all need to “man up.”
Regardless of gender, it is scary to put yourself out there because of the fear of rejection or the fear of the friend zone. But it’s okay to take risks, you never know when it might pay off. I hate to get all philosophical on you here (just kidding, I love it), but life is too short. If you don’t take the chance now, you will always wonder what if.