“My debit card got compromised and my car broke down, both in one day. What a time to be alive.”

“Instead of being normal and saying Netflix, my mom says, “hey do you want to stream?’ Like dude what??”

“Shoutout to Mr.Plunkett the head custodian for being the coolest dude ever.”

“Red, white, and blue popsicles are democracy, and democracy does NOT expire.”

“Huge congrats to Huskie powerlifters Hannah Hopkins, Joshawn Wilson, and Grant Mcnally – all STATE CHAMPIONS!!! #Yesyoudolift.”

“Next to a student driver at a stoplight & I was dancing to music and could literally read the instructors lips saying “that’s what you shouldn’t do.”